Theres no excuse for him not to ask questions about you. If you are in a serious relationship with a selfish guy, you will find yourself apologizing for things you didnt even do; he is simply too selfish to admit to any mistakes. Usually it is an indication of deeper issues, i.e. I know its frustrating but its a pretty common man trait. The thing is, your boyfriend always has an ulterior motive for doing nice things; its one of the traits of a selfish man. Read this to fix the errors youre inadvertently making so you can finally meet your Mr. Each time a woman cuts bait and runs, he pushes that tender and broken heart deeper, where its harder for the next woman to find. You will never be able to unload your emotional stuff on him because he will always check out once hes done talking. But if he really is so selfish, you might not have many options left. He would always talk about himself, seem disinterested in what I . Be observant of those who do not. Yeah, between us, there arent many silences in the Katz household. She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness. he doesnt care about your feelings, you may notice that you have become a final option for him. The only reason why he cares about the way you look is the way it makes him look. He must drive you nuts. Ive since come to realise that if Im not bored by his day to day stuff in the least I shouldnt be worried about bringing up my stuff either. Consider the following twenty signs: At the start of the relationship, when things were going well, your boyfriend or husband probably put you first. A selfish partner never sees your point of view and always put his own needs first. I love the fact that my wife wants to know everything about me stories of crazy ex-girlfriends, old family photo albums, dusty old screenplays sitting in the back of my closet. To that person, it might actually be rude to ask a lot of questions if he thinks respecting someones privacy and allowing them to share on their own terms is the respectful and polite thing to do, then he wont ask a lot of questions. Someone who's interested in a relationship with you won't shy away from making long-term plans and commitments with you. If you have been dating for quite some time and your boyfriend still hasnt introduced you to the other people in his life, this is a red flag that he doesnt care about the relationship. And he doesnt ask much because he figures if I wanted to tell him, I would do so without being asked. We saw each other once before and hes asking to meet me again, he also texts me everyday. He bitches about stress at work or what's going on with his car but you'll rarely hear him talk about his day or what he did today in depth. He would much rather hang out with friends or spend time engaged in a hobby than hang out with you. Whats worse, you had to hear him go on and on about how much money and time he spent on planning it and he wont miss any chance to remind you of it. There's lots of relationship advice out there that tells you to watch what a man does, not what he says, but frankly, that's just enabling guys to keep being emotionally deficient. Having a sweet, boyfriend who is a good listener might be one of the best things you could ever ask for. He always does whats convenient for him, regardless of your schedule, 18. Just learned that it was safer not to ask. He will never consider you as a couple before making a decision. This probably goes without being said, but if you catch your boyfriend chatting with other women behind your back, messaging them on the Internet, or making plans to meet up, this is a clear sign he doesnt care about the relationship anymore. Personally, I find it rude because were talking about me, and then he starts talking about himself because if I wanted to know something, I would ASK about it. He's just a quiet person. it will seem as if he is pulling away, and you are chasing after him. Even though a break-up is your last resort, you have to get back your self-esteem and fight for what you deserve. You can read more about me and my website here. Open communication is important for relationships, so if you feel that he doesnt care, it is probably time to have a talk. You will find a man who will always put you first, and you deserve to have that. As a matter of fact, they abhor games to the point where they wont play yours. Maybe Im a little egocentric, but that shit wouldnt fly with me. so you are afraid to get comfortable in his presence. In a 2019 interview, the Titan's maker lamented "obscenely safe" diving security regulations. It was wrong and I was closed down if I asked. Its not normal for him not to ask questions. Naturally, he wouldnt want to hurt your feelings again. They communicate by comment to comment, so if they are engaging with what you said, that is them showing interest. Your email address will not be published. An interested man wants to learn more about you if his interests are more than physical. Which only provokes me to ask the obvious question: how did you let a disinterested guy like this become your boyfriend? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy might not ask you questions, the signs to look for and the things to consider. I've come to blows many times with him. Stockton Rush, the CEO of OceanGate Expeditions, on April 12, 2017. I was married 25 years to a guy who didnt let me ask questions. , only to be left feeling hurt because it seems like he doesnt care about you anymore, If this is the case, there are some warning signs he doesnt care about you. You may be thinking, I feel like my boyfriend doesnt love me.. And I don't feel that close to him. Licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and school social worker through Ohio Department of Education as well as a personal trainer through American Council on Exercise. Your selfish boyfriend simply doesnt care about your satisfaction. But thats not the case if he is selfish. He doesn't talk about himself either. Like someone who only talks about himself. Maria and M: I'm saying that as a dude who used to hate himself. Selfish people wont let you get a word in edgewise; they constantly talk about themselves. Because even if you have a boyfriend who boosts your self-esteem, shares common interests, and gets along well with your family members, it doesn't matter if you don't feel emotionally connected to him. I am just saying that the person relates everything to his life and talks about it, that too not even in a conceited way. And Ive been trying to tell him that I want to him to talk about himself more but now I feel like hes gonna do it to make me happy and once again instilling the power unbalance in our relationship which is the opposite of what I want. CEO Stockton Rush said he understood . Wasnt it obvious after, oh, I dont know Date 1 that his conversational skills were all about what was going on in his life, at his job, what he saw on TV, his funny stories from college? You will find honest storytelling and our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but are afraid to talk about. Dont be afraid to point out his mistakes. If he only wants to spend time with you when the two of you are having sex, this is one of the signs he doesnt care about you, Certainly, it is expected that the two of you should have a. , but a man who cares about you will also want to spend quality time together outside of sex. If a guy never talks about himself is he hiding something? Try to make him see that he will lose you if he doesnt change but if it doesnt work, be ready to leave him for real. Required fields are marked *. He's not open to planning something with you a few months in advance, and he only ever talks about his future without any indication about whether he envisions you there with him. 1. When I asked him a question about his life, he would almost always ask me the same question back. I (18F)have been together with my boyfriend (19M) for three months now and we were friends for about six months before that. He will want the relationship to progress only if its in his best interests, He doesnt really want to do any work because that would mean doing something. The first time you apologize for something you didnt do is your cue thats somethings off. He should think of you two as a team and work for your best interests. He ignores or downplays your emotions. Selfish people dont see things the way they are. We have a few articles about people with a narcissistic personality that you can check out. Continue reading so you can find out how to deal with such a man, and I wish you all the best. in the social work field for 8 years and is currently a professor at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. would you like to ask me any questions about myself?, Thats a big enough hint, see if they step up, if not, move onsome guys are scared to ask for fear of being intrusive, and mostly men offer each other information in the way they communicate, not like us girls who ask away lol. , it is not the only aspect of a successful partnership. He may even avoid you altogether when making plans and only end up with you when he has no other options. Whereas, if he reacts to seeing you by doing things such as: Then it would make it more likely that he is not into you. Sure, everyone needs some alone time, and we are all busy sometimes but if he always chooses something else over you, he is a selfish boyfriend. Do you all not understand that we are not the same? But it's clear that he just doesn't want to talk about ANYTHING that goes on in his life. If you were wondering if you have a selfish boyfriend, just consider how much he has to be in control; where you eat lunch, when you will leave, who you will go out with. Hi, I met this guy he is really nice and caring and has qualities of what Im looking for in a man. The only issue is that he refuses to talk about himself. Don't get me wrong I love talking with my dad about science, he just knows nothing about my life and he never asks. You have been the one who put your relationship first for long enough. He hates not being the one in the spotlight. He superliked me, we matched, we talked a bunch then added each other in other social medias. Still, breaking up should be your last resort. The problem is while he has no problem answering my questions and talking in detail or sharing stuff about himself, he never asks me anything. All Rights Reserved. Don't Be Too Responsive When a guy only talks about himself and ignore you all the way, don't become too responsive. As soon as he has an orgasm, he will roll over to the other side of the bed and fall asleep. Its frustrating but its how it is and we have to work to understand and adapt to each other. Maybe he doesn't answer you quickly because he's not really into you. My GF will typically reciprocate, though often not in as much detail. When I ask him why he doesn't talk about himself, he doesn't respond either. And even if Im not as interested in her past as she is in mine, I can still name all of her family members, friends, exes, and co-workers. I created and currently manage Body Language Central, one of the premier sources for body language-related knowledge. Any advice? Compromise is the reason why relationships work in the first place but your selfish boyfriend isnt willing to compromise. My blog is like Google for your love life.Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer. This might make him see things more clearly and snap out of it. He finds only his life to be interesting enough to talk about. If your man makes all the decisions and doesnt ever seem to care about your thoughts on matters like finances, day-to-day plans, or changes to the house you share, this suggests that he doesnt care. Another friend had the same comment as M in that, some people feel they are being respectful by not asking questions and allowing the other person to share what they care to share. As soon as you start overshadowing his spotlight, there will be trouble. Cookie Notice By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I feel like our relationship isnt equal so I feel awful for having the higher position even tho I never wanted that. Perhaps he goes to work, heads out to dinner with friends afterward, and doesnt come home until it is time for bed. I already told you that he isnt willing to compromise and that will result in him making you go to him, every time. it is probably time to have a talk. After all, you had a nice life before him. You deserve to have a good relationship and the emotional support that you need. So you love a guy with low self-esteem. If you see both sides of the story as equally valid, i.e. I have told her about my need for someone to ask questions (I do simply because Im curious about people, and especially about someone Im dating) and it has improved generally, though sometimes the natural resistance to ask is still there. You have to find a way of dealing with a selfish partner or give up on the relationship altogether. A perfect example is the time we were discussing guns and Id told him Id never owned one because I am a felon. Can a man really be this poor at communicating? He uses sarcasm as a joke..which i dont like. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. He would much rather do that than apologize first. His decisions will be solely based on his own interests and needs. But you will never be on equal footing with him or her. Archived post. All rights reserved. Asking you the most questions Keeping his focus on you when multiple people are talking Glancing at you a lot Adjusting his appearance when he sees you Touching you a lot Standing closer to you than he does with other people Pointing his feet at you (people often point their feet at people that they are attracted to) They only think about themselves and their own interests. If this is the reason then he might also show distancing behaviors, in his body language, when he is around you by doing things such as: Many guys do not ask many questions to people naturally and this could be why he doesnt ask you questions. This is just another one of the signs of a selfish boyfriend that you need to keep an eye on. -- He is the master of his emotion , the quickest way to reach power is by mastering your emotion , he is unreactive , that's why his enemies can't steal any information from him because of his poker face . If he reacts to seeing you by doing things such as: Then it would make it more likely that he is attracted to you. Whereas, if he shows a number of body language signs and they all seem to suggest the same thing then it would make it more likely that he is showing them for that specific reason. Lets not look and invent fancy explanations to simple things. If he is attracted to you then it would also be more likely that he would show signs of attraction around you that he doesnt around other people. When they dont, they are beaten up for it. If you notice that you and your boyfriend never talk about your hopes, dreams, or future goals, this can be a pretty clear indicator that he doesnt care about the relationship. If your boyfriend doesnt care, you might notice that he always expects you to do favors for him, but he never seems to do anything for you in return. He will have to try harder if he wants you to stay with him. She stumbled on this site and then sent it to me for my thoughts. If he keeps putting the bare minimum into making you happy, you are never going to have a serious relationship. Some people dont ask because they figure if you wanted to tell them, you would just tell them. And if you bring it up with him and discover that this is as deep as he goes, you wouldnt be out of line to think you could have a stronger connection with a guy who actually cares what comes out of your mouth. It can be a trap to get you to reveal all sorts of vulnerability. At first I thought he was uncomfortable with me asking about him and his girl. In my case she is also not as expressive as I am; your case is different because he talks a lot about himself when you ask and doesnt reciprocate. As others have pointed out, were not all the same and what we prefer isnt how everyone operates. A guy who is interested will ask questions. You may be thinking, I feel like my boyfriend doesnt love me. While it may be true, it is important not to jump to any conclusions. 11 Biggest Signs A Guy Isnt Interested in You Anymore, Crazy Subconscious Signs He Likes You (These Guarantee He Wants You), How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Steps Guaranteed (With Testimonials), 55 Love Quotes That Say I Love You Perfectly (And Capture What It Really Means), How to Know Hes Not Interested: 32 Big Signs He Doesnt Like You Back, 230 Questions to Get to Know Someone: Most Effective Questions to Ask, 425+ Never Have I Ever Questions: The Ultimate List, Ask a Guy (Dating Tips / Relationship Advice for Women): Frequently Asked Questions. This is because of his selfishness, and those selfish ways wont get him anywhere. Explain to him that you have noticed some behaviors that suggest to you that he doesnt care about the relationship anymore, On the other hand, if your boyfriend becomes defensive and refuses to address the issue, or he promises to change but continues to make no effort, it may be that. He doesn't have to hide his friends, activities, hobbies, or anything else from you. As far as feelings go he doesn't really talk about them much. If he is just getting his sexual needs met but doesnt want to spend time together anymore, you are probably justified in feeling, My boyfriend doesnt care about me.. I agree with Janet here. He does nice things only because he has to, 12. Meaning I hurt a lot Definitely we love quick and with all our heart buh we have been hurt a lot that now all we do is try to help ourself not to care enough.. You could start by letting us know youll be there.. We are lonely souls. You shouldnt have to do this in a healthy, happy relationship, and it is a good sign that he doesnt care enough. Youre not going to win many friends if you never make anyone else in the world feel interesting. Does it mean hes a narcissist? The crazy thing is as youve already acknowledged when you said your boyfriend is sensitive, attractive, affectionate, and attentive, these types of folks arent bad people. There is still hope that he will work on his selfishness, and you will manage to have a healthy relationship but the first time you see red flags should make you react. One of the most telling signs that the guy sees a long-term future with you is that he's open with you about everything. But dating is a different story . I am going to tell you how to deal with a selfish boyfriend but we first have to see if he really is a selfish guy. not asking any questions being rude and abnormal versus it is totally cool when this happens, I suggest you go by how it makes you feel. They are generally uninterested in what other people have to say. He could fear heartbreak unless you're the first person he's been involved with. It has taken several years for me to ask questions again never meant that I wasnt interested, or didnt want to know though! involve a partnership between two people, which means your significant other should take your opinions and preferences into consideration when making big decisions. I didnt realize how many ill-informed women are out there. Dont doubt, just do! This guy is too selfish to ask about your day and how you have been doing which is a red flag that you simply cant ignore. He Is Afraid Of Rejection. I hope that my website can help condense the wide amount of body language information available and allow you to make full use of it in your daily life. 15 Signs He Actually Doesn't Care About You by Alex Kelly Tweet He doesn't answer your calls. So, keep reading, and I am going to tell you how to deal with a selfish boyfriend as well. I am not saying your guy is a player but if I were you, I would look at any other signs of disinterest from him. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. and cares about staying in the relationship, he will have no interest in going after other women. A nice decent caring guy would not be behaving this way. Maybe he was like that from the start, or maybe something has happened that changed him. If he's got his head that far up his own ass that he can't stick to plans, then he's obviously wasting your time. That demonstrates that he wants you to understand what a good worker he is, etc. The Smart, Strong, Successful Womans Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever. What to do when your boyfriend doesnt care anymore. Wouldnt you want to know about your girlfriends criminal history? He might also do it naturally with most people. This would be more likely if you have not really spoken to him much in the past, you have not shown interest in him in the past and if you have not asked him many questions, in the past, yourself. This can make them less reliable of their own. They could be afraid of facing rejection from another individual. Ive come to realise that while I know I am an open book if someone asks me about me and my thoughts on a specific topic, Im not so great at just offering up bits of information about myself out of context. This would be more likely if you have shown interest in him, in the past, but he didnt reciprocate it and if he only seems not to ask you questions and not other people as well. If you try to stop giving, he will walk right out of that door. He never goes that extra mile to make you happy, 7. A man who is serious about you and your future together is sharing new ideas and asking questions so that he can learn and discover with you. Does he tell you about his work day in more than that it was fine? If this is the case then it would be more likely that he would only do it with you and that he would show different body language signs around you compared to when he is around other people. He only wants to get on your good side and avoid you complaining. The Pyramid of Love is based on these six key pillars to help you find lasting love, Heterosexual women of a progressive bent often say they want equal partnerships with men. Yeah a relationship is two people sharingnot one on a soapboxI would move on. This can look like you begging him for time, attention, or effort, and he gives very little to you. I think this is just plain rude. A partner who wants you around will introduce you to important people, such as his roommates, friends, or parents.
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